Trowa Barton (aka Darth Sweetie)

I admit that I stay clear of a terminal over last weekend so I have to wait until Monday to resume the continuity of my entries. Last Friday was spent with a b-day mob for Questioner. Earthdragon, auror, rigel, and foley were there along with many others. We went to this Japanese/Korean restaurant. I like the sushi there and the clam soup. A bottle of Merlot was there as a present to Questioner but we were refrained from drinking it due to the open bottle policy. I tried to ignore the fact that Ween was there. What was different about this mob was that afterwards, a trip was made to a place called Alex's. It is a 21+ strip joint in the middle of nowhere. Unfortunately, this meant that Auror couldn't come. There was trouble getting there as the car I was in got lost. We were at least 30 min late from the rest of the party. When we got there, initially it was what I expected: synthetics. What was strange was that I knew it was synthetic, I knew that the dancers are putting up a faux paus for the money, and yet I gave myself a table dance. What was also strange was that I enjoyed watching Rigel and Questioner more than I enjoyed the other stripteases. It was natural beauty. I like that. There was the Merlot again. Got a little tipsy drinking a size of the bottle with foley and Questioner. I should learn to loosen up without the use of alcohol.
Which brings me to Saturday and the lecture. They were able to get Peter David, Harlan Ellison, and Neil Gaiman in one room. I've been a fan of Peter David ever since I saw his B5 episodes and Centauri trilogy. He was good. I only know Ellison from his work with JMS in "Babylon 5". He made a good cameo as a Psi Cop in the episode "The Face of the Enemy." He was an asshole on stage. His short stories sucked. Neil Gaiman contains the usual razor wit you'd expect from a Brit, especially when talking about his "crazy hair." The questions afterward were...ack...enough said. When the lecture was over, I spent 2.5 hours getting another Centauri trilogy signed by Peter David to give to auror. She never read it. Maybe an autographed copy will tweek her curiosity when she is not doing problem sets.
Sunday:
Played B5 CCG. Lost my entire Psi Corp deck. (Long story)
Monday. There have been debates over whether this is a holiday or not. No school for MIT students. School for Florida students. Either way, I had to go to work. I took a lunch break and went to see a movie at Kendall Square. I had some trepidation about this. One, because it was in the middle of work. Two, because each time I saw a movie in the Kendall Square theater, I come out with some in-depth, introspective feelings about my life. When I saw "Center of the World," I understood the need for real relationships and compassion after watching a couple share a fake relationship. Unfortunately, this cost me my relationship with Ween. When I saw "Ghost World," I understood the need to explore beyond the confines of your persona or world. I needed to get more of a life.
Now I saw a movie called "Innocence" which explored the concept of passionate love even at an old age. One must need to love uncondiitonally and not just another, but life itself. I've been hesitant to do that. There are times when I see myself in battle or as a young man when I was little. However, I couldn't vision myself as an old man or as someone who will settle down with a wife and kids. It's as if I wasn't going to make it that far. With the attacks on Afghanistan, this is heightened. I've accepted death or the possibility of death for so long that it has affected my perception of life. I had to give up joy, pleasure, fear, and others because they are of the moment. I knew that they would turn to ash. I couldn't enjoy life because I knew that it won't last.

This ends now.

It has been a while since my last entry due to recent events. I should start off on Friday when I came home during my lunch break to find out that my grandmother had a stroke. You don't realize how much you would miss someone until the possibility finally arrives. We had a falling out after a while due to distance, but all that disappeared when I called her from her hospital room. I was amazed to talk to her considering the fact that she had a stroke. I had Thrawn's SO talk to me about a worse case, but I'm glad that is not the case. I just found out today that she was released from the hospital to the relief of my entire family, including my father who is older than her (long story).
Fortunately, auror convinced me to go to Dralion with a bunch of my friends. Thrawn was fortunate enough to have a spare ticket, though it was for a solo seat. This was fine considering that I found out my ex-SO, Ween, was also joining us. More on that later. The performance was awe inspiring. The baffoons were funny. I liked the music, the acrobatics, and the overall flow. They gave me new ideas for my next Legends character which will be a Tor Aquillon. I even enjoyed one of the perks of attending a Canadian-based show: the purchase of Chardonnay at the concessions stand. For the record: white wine goes great with popcorn. Much to the dismay of auror, of all the souvenirs I could have purchased at the show, I invested $3 on a clown's nose. I needed the laugh considering what happened with my grandmother. This carried on to dinner where I sat between two of the quietest people in the table: Ween and Wicka, Thrawn's SO. Ween and I haven't spoken to each other since a wedding over two months ago, and now I'm seeing her during zebediah's move, Dralion, dinner, and (later) a housewarming party for three days straight. Talk about feelings of awkwardness. To this day, I still don't know whether to hate her or thank her for what she did. It was her break-up that allowed me to reject monogamy, be introduced to polyamory, and fall for auror. I am no longer the hopeless romantic, for I know that nothing is forever and I know true pain. Happily ever after doesn't exist. We pretty much had little to say to each other even though we were right next to each other.

Anyway...
Saturday was much better. After a semi-successful Shadowrun (another long story involving cybertrolls and elves), I went to a housewarming party hosted by rigel, bester, truthspeaker among others. It was a great party. Anime, gigaseconds of UNIX, and game oh my. Also, there were so many fine, foxy ladies to talk to. Bester may have convinced me to become a Mac user. And the thought of rigel with nearly all of her past and current SOs was interesting. I partied until late. It was all good. It is because of this that justifies my Livejournal mood. Just wished I did more on Sunday than sleep 60% of the day and saw "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" at LSC.